There is a lot of controversy around mothers in the workforce, especially as they are still raising their children. Mothers feel guilty for leaving their kids as they continue to grow in their careers, and others feel that they have the right to judge these mothers’ choices. However, it is my belief that it is time to change the dialogue around this subject. Samantha Ettus joins the show today to touch on this topic and explain why women need to start allowing themselves the freedom to live a fulfilled and happy life.
Listen in as Samantha shares her advice for mothers of teenagers, as well as why she believes women should not leave the workforce when they have children. You will learn why any job can become a family-friendly job, the importance of never limiting your children’s career dreams and how to allow yourself to have fun without any guilt.
What You’ll Learn:
Why it is okay to mess up sometimes.
The importance of owning your own money.
Why we must work hard, but also play hard.
The benefit of having a life outside of motherhood.
Advice for parents of teens.
Why you should never limit your children's dreams.
Ideas Worth Sharing:
“The idea of women earning their own money should not be controversial.” - Samantha Ettus
“Say yes to the margarita and leave the dirty dishes in the sink. Allow yourself to have fun!” - Samantha Ettus
“Tell your kids that they can be anything they set their minds to with hard work.” - Samantha Ettus
Resources:
EPISODE 43
TRANSCRIPT:
*Please note that transcripts are auto-transcribed, they are for reference only and may contain typos*
Molly Dare 0:07
Hello and welcome back to Season Two of on air with Molly dare. I'm your host Molly dare, founder of Hillenbrand, media producer of the Spotlight Series, host of this on air with Molly Dare podcast and single mom to two amazing teen girls. And here to share my favorite people who I absolutely adore and learn so much from in my journey of entrepreneurship. I learned by listening to other journeys of entrepreneurship lessons learned. It's how I grow and how I hope you gain your knowledge and pursue your passions by learning from what others have to say about things that they've tried, failed, tried again, all those lessons learned along the way. In today's episode, we have the amazing Samantha Ettus. I have just fallen in love with Samantha just her teaching her style, everything that she's about, and her amazing book called The Pie Life, which we'll talk about in this interview today. But it was quite controversial when it came out because she does talk about the importance of women moms staying in the workforce and how they should not leave after having kids because it's so hard to get back in and she gets all the percentages and statistics. It's really an interesting conversation. And you know, it reminds me, I had an interesting conversation this week, I actually did a post on Instagram or maybe in my stories about it, because it really hit me it kind of rocked me. And it was a conversation I was having in a clubhouse room. For those of you who know the clubhouse app with other women, about guilts. And the guilt that a lot of us working moms feel supposedly. And I was listening to other people talk about the guilt that they feel and everything. And I had a contrarian view, I was like, You know what, I don't feel that guilty. I'm not ashamed to say that I do not feel guilty that I'm working or had to work or pursuing my dreams and passions while raising children. And being a single mom, I actually am really proud of what I'm doing and able to do while raising these two kids, you know, on my own. And I said, I think whatever guilt I had was far outweighed by that pride and also the lessons that I'm teaching these two girls that I'm raising, which I think are so, so important that life doesn't always work out the way we think it is. And you have to, like commit, you have to like, life is not a pleasure cruise, it is just not everything's gonna get handed to you. And not everything's gonna work out the way you want. So I'd rather teach my daughters the skills that are needed when life throws you for a loop when it doesn't work out the way you want it or you get blindsided by something. Let me show them how to pick yourself up. Let me show them what it takes to build a business, whatever industry that my kids want to go in, good for them. If they want to be a doctor, a lawyer, amazing. But if they want to be an entrepreneur, I don't want them to glamorize this concept of entrepreneurship, which I see happening. Nowadays, it's hard. It's really, really hard. You know, people are like, Oh, I'm gonna leave my nine to five so that I can have, you know, more free time or no, you leave your nine to five for a 24/7. Okay, you're never off the clock with entrepreneurship. So don't be fooled by all the pictures that we post about the good stuff. That's what we post to lure people in and to, to obviously get the likes and the posts to get you to watch us. But it's grueling. And I am so proud that my kids have seen the effort that it takes. And I hope that when they are growing up, or when they become moms, that they don't feel the guilt, that they are proud of whatever they're doing while they're raising their family. And I know that their children will be so proud of them. And I think the dialogue among people, especially women needs to change in this regard. Because How amazing would it be instead of being like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that mom works all the time. And she's not at her kids this or that? How about it's like, how can I help her out? How can I you know, Can I take your kids this day and you can take my kids that can imagine if that's what the conversations were like good for you. Look at that mom pursuing her dreams and passions and so happy and proud. And look at the amazing kids that she's raising who are going to give back to society and learn all the skills needed to do so.
I think there's just like a whole conversation around that. Anyway, I would love love, love to get right to this interview with Samantha because it's just chock filled of incredible information. I hope all of you are doing amazing in this new year 2022 Let's make it an amazing year. Let's listen to content that helps us grow. And here we go. Samantha Ettus I am so excited to be joined today by Samantha Ettus, founder and CEO of ParkPlace payments. Best selling author, speaker co host of the What's her story podcast, Harvard MBA over 400 TV appearances, including the today's show, Dr. Phil, CNN, Good Morning America and many many more. And of course the
mom to three amazing kids. Samantha. Thanks so much for joining me today we have a shared passion of sharing other's stories and amplifying women, getting them motivated and inspired to go out on their own. And I'm just so excited for my audience to get to know you a little bit better.
Samantha Ettus 5:16
Thanks, Molly. It's so funny because you and I could have chatted forever just before the show started.
Molly Dare 5:21
Know There's so much I want to pick your brain on I mean, you're this is your field. And I know my audience, I learned so much from you today, you've written five books. For many of us, just getting your first book out is a really daunting task. So five is pretty incredible. I wanted to start real quick if it's okay, with your latest book, The pie life, it's caused a little bit of a stir a little bit of a little bit of a conversation between stay at home moms and the working moms. And in it you say don't leave the workforce once you have kids, because it's so hard to return that women will feel unfulfilled. Could you elaborate a little on that?
Samantha Ettus 5:58
I still find it amazing that it causes a stir at all, because I don't think it should be controversial. The idea of women earning money, right? I mean, we all know that when you don't earn your own money, it's really hard to have options in life. And we talk so much about like, what if your your partner drops dead or leaves you and what if you want to leave your partner, right? Like you have no options if you don't earn money of your own and make sure that you're financially protected. And so, you know, the reason I wrote the pie life, and it came out now five years ago, but it's still probably even more relevant today is that I felt that there were so many negative frameworks for thinking about how to manage your professional and personal life. And I remember when Anne Marie slaughter had that cover of The Atlantic Monthly that said women can have it all. And no one really had dug into the fact that Anne Marie slaughter had left her family every single Sunday night and came back on Fridays, to work at the State Department. And that's basically like a man listening to someone who did a tour of duty in Iraq, come back and say men can have it all. But all these women just kind of glommed on to that idea of Yeah, you're right, it's so hard, we can't have it all. Meanwhile, 99.999% of women would never be in a situation where they're leaving their family five out of seven days every week. So I think that you know, as women, we tend to, when things go wrong, we blame work, as opposed to realizing that like having a full rich life involves having access to different slices of your life. And those slices are your family, your friends, your relationship or your quest to find one, your health, your community, your hobbies and your career. And after working with 1000s of women, I found that the most fulfilled ones are those that allow themselves permission to play in all of those slices.
Molly Dare 7:48
Oh, I think that's so important. I love the metaphor of the pie. At first, when I read the title, I caught the pie life. And then when I saw the illustration, and all the different sections, that all need to be touched on, they all have value in our lives. And we have to include all of them to feel so fulfilled to have the full pie, so to speak. And you know, the question comes up, you know, with all those slices of pie that we all want, are there enough hours in the day to do all the things?
Samantha Ettus 8:11
Well, first of all, the reason I love the pie metaphor is not just because the slices fit in. But also because if you had to think about like the yummiest pies, right, it's not the store bought perfect looking pie. It's the messy, dripping, gooey, like over the side, you know, those are the most delicious pies. And that's how your life should look like, life is messy. And I think it's when we crave perfection. And I'm always a fan of like, you know, say yes to the margarita and leave the dirty dishes in the sink. Like so many women deprive themselves of having fun, and it's like we forget that we're role models to the young people in our lives. And if they see us, like just trudging through everyday and it's so hard and we're suffering and they're not going to grow up to want to enjoy their lives. And so part of it is accepting the fact that yes, you're going to do all these things. And that's going to mean that you mess up all the time and that's okay. And as long as you own it and acknowledge when when things go wrong, and that's okay and say mommy messed up. But I'll get it better tomorrow. You know, I'll do better tomorrow.
Molly Dare 9:12
I so agree with everything that you're saying. And I think it's so important. I you know, for my honesty, no, I'm a single mom of two teens. I always say some coffee and wine because that's what I'm surviving on
Samantha Ettus 9:24
By the way, I'm not a single mom, but I'm still surviving on coffee and wine. So that's okay. I call my beverage bookends. I start my day with my coffee that I like Look forward to it gets me out of bed. And I look forward to my glass of wine at the end of the day or my cocktail.
Molly Dare 9:36
You know what though? I work hard. And I play hard and I make no bones about it because my kids see me living a fulfilled and happy life where I'm doing what I love. I go after things with passion, but I also take time for myself and I don't feel selfish about it at all.
Samantha Ettus 9:51
Absolutely.
Molly Dare 9:52
Because I think it's important. I think it's so important to have all the things any advice that you have for parents of teens.
Samantha Ettus 10:00
Well, I read a great quote recently. So I have two teenage girls, one is 14 and one is 15. I have a son who's 11, who's full on tween at this point. And, you know, I saw this quote the other day, that just really resonated with me because I think that being a parent of teens is so hard. And there are so many books about like how to parent your toddler and how to get your, you know, get to sleep at night, but there is not a lot there when it comes to how to navigate the teen years. And it kind of comes at you like a tidal wave like you're just not expecting, oh my gosh, my kid doesn't want me they do you want me everything I say is wrong. I think it's a really tricky time. And this quote was that parenting teens is a part time job that requires full time availability.
Molly Dare 10:47
Hmm.
Samantha Ettus 10:49
And I just thought that like it's really resonated. It's like your kids want you there if they need you. But usually they don't want you. And so you know, someone said to me the other day, one of my friends who has a college age kids, she said, you're supposed to be like a houseplant, you're there but you don't say anything.
Molly Dare 11:07
It's true, I can't even breathe. Sometimes they're like irritated even when I'm just taking up space in the house that I bought and live in. Right? I house them in.
Samantha Ettus 11:16
And that's the thing, I think the key is not engaging them and not taking it personally when they're grumpy. Because the bottom line is, a lot of it is hormones. It's they're not in control of all the emotions. They're developing so fast, so quickly, that it's really hard for them everyday. So I try to lead sort of with empathy and realize that like, is hard as it is on me when they have a bad attitude, or whatever it is, they're probably suffering inside. And I try to think of it that way. And it helps me and I, by the way, another point about being a working mom is like, if I didn't have my work, and my entire focus was my kids, I would be in a deep depression, because my kids don't want me around and kind of pushed me out of the way most of the time, which is, by the way, the job of a teenager, right, like their job is to fly. And so we're doing the opposite, we're pulling them towards us. And their job is to fly away from us. And that's what makes parenting so hard is that if you do a really great job, your kids will fly further.
Molly Dare 12:10
So, so true, I absolutely love that. I want to jump right into it. As you and I were discussing, I don't understand why they don't talk finances, in school in grade school, and why there's no classes on adulting and how important it is to be financially literate, you have an amazing company, Parkplace payments, let us know what it's about who you serve, and why it's something that you're so passionate about creating.
Samantha Ettus 12:32
Well, the reason I started Park Place, and like I never expected to be running a payment processing company. The reason I started it is because I was on the road doing tons of speeches. And the one group of women I was unable to help were the women who had left the workforce, but couldn't get back in because they found that once you leave, it's just really hard to ever get a full time position. Again, the stats, by the way, are super grim. So if you leave the workforce for just two years, there's less than a 50% chance you will ever get a full time position again for the rest of your life. Oh, so it puts you in a very vulnerable position to leave. And so a lot of women, they want to be doing something and so they start selling for mlm multi level marketing companies. So they start selling skincare or essential oils or clothing, or some product to their friends. And most of them aren't even making Martini money. In fact, when I dug into it, I found that 98% of the people working for multi level marketing companies are actually losing money, they're not even breaking even. So they're really preying on the most vulnerable people in our society. And by the way, I totally get what the appeal is right? Like I was a keynote speaker at one of their conferences a few years ago. And that's when it sort of clicked for me like, oh, my gosh, these are women who want to be taking a business trip, they want to be doing something outside of their families. And they're just afforded no opportunities. And so this was the only option available to them. And they think they'll be one of the 2% that's going to make the money or they just enjoy the fact that they're part of a community. So I thought, well, what if I could actually get this same group of people to sell something that would be lucrative that there's no way they would lose money, and it would be recurring revenue and kind of become like life insurance for them. And that was why I started Park Place. So there's an industry most people don't know a lot about. Basically any business you can think of from like your hair salons, your yoga studio, to your pediatrician. Any business that accepts credit cards, has a middleman between American Express, MasterCard, and visa and the business. And today the middleman is like 30,000 men, mostly white. And there are almost no women in it. And it doesn't make any sense because a it's super lucrative. And B if you talk to most business owners, they can't stand their credit card processor because they don't feel like they're honest. It's sold a lot like used car sales. So if you Molly have an auto body shop on one block and I have Sam's carwash on the same block, some guy named Rick will come in and be like Molly, I'll pay 3% but I better get
Get Sam to pay 3.5%, even though we're buying the same exact product. So I saw this and I thought, wait a second, what if I train mom specifically, but basically anyone who wants a new opportunity to sell credit card processing to their local businesses, the businesses, they already have a relationship with, like, we all have known our dentists for years, or our dermatologist or our favorite restaurant. And so I spent 2018 going to six different cities, and training women in those cities who had no background in financial services. They were former teachers and flight attendants and yoga instructors, and, you know, doctors and newscasters, people in every field, to see if they could be successful selling financial services to their local businesses, if we did most of the heavy lifting. And so that was why I raised my my first round of money because that was a success. And then we raised our second round of capital. And now we have over 1000 account executives in all 50 states. And we have about 80% Are women about 40% are people of color. And it's just so exciting to see some of the stories of people who've totally changed the sort of financial composition of their lives, it's allowed them to leave abusive relationships to pay for their children's school to buy a cabin, I mean, that the list goes on. And it's really been the most exciting part of my career for sure.
Molly Dare 16:23
And I honestly love it, I am just I'm so passionate about it, as well as at least giving women the opportunity, the knowledge so that they can make the correct decisions that they can know that they have opportunities there, no one has ever stuck anywhere. And the more that we educate ourselves on the financial literacy and on our steps, and how we can pursue financial independence is so important. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. And I hope that people connect with you who are interested in doing that as well. I want to go back to something that I I read when I was perusing your social media, I read that your parents gave you a gift, they told you as a young girl that with hard work, you could become anything you want to be. And I think that's such an important gift that you are given at a young age is that a it takes hard work, it's not easy, right? Anything that you go after in life is going to require you to put some work into it. There's no such thing as an overnight success. Even though it may look like that for some people, it comes after many, many years of work behind the scenes, and that you are capable of being anything that you want to be. How has that advice helped you throughout your life?
Samantha Ettus 17:31
Yeah, I mean, I'm so glad you asked this, because I think that we forget, sometimes as parents, like, we're gonna mess up, right, your kid is gonna end up on a therapist couch for something you did or didn't do. Under via matter, whatever it is, we don't know what it's gonna be and how they curate their memories and all that. However, you know, the one thing that all of us can do, and even if you haven't been doing it up till today, you can start tonight is to tell your kids over and over that they can be anything they set their minds to with hard work. And, you know, I years ago hosted a talk show, produced by Gary Vaynerchuk, who's a big internet person. And we did about 75 episodes and interviewed everyone from Al Roker to cc Bendet just a very wide variety of people. And people would say, Well, what do all these people have in common? Besides the fact that they're passionate, and I would always say 99% of them had parents who told them they could be anything so like Al Roker, his father was a bus driver in New York City. He raised our to believe he could be anything in the world. And that really, you know, so many parents limit their kids, especially girl parents, I see this all the time, Molly, where girl parents will say well choose a career that's family friendly. And at the end of the day, you can make any career family friendly, if it's something you love, and it's something you've worked hard at, and boys don't get that message. And so I think it's really important that we are giving girls the same messages as boys, do anything you want and you'll figure it out later.
Molly Dare 19:03
Love it. And you know, you as a co founder, I am a founder of Hillenbrand media. You did a video on your social media day in the life of an entrepreneurial moms and I think a lot of moms are scared of I don't have enough hours in the day like how would I juggle running a company being a mom being all the things, but you kind of went through your day and I even in my Instagram Stories yesterday was like, my day never goes as planned, right? It's constantly things coming at me and I have to pivot and I have to change and you know, my daughter got a flat tire and so she couldn't pick up my other daughter and so I had to reschedule stuff around. But you make it work. What is a typical day in your life?
Samantha Ettus 19:41
Well, that's the thing right? So I mean, the only typical part is like my morning coffee that's really the only thing I can count on. That's it that's all I got my coffee. The rest is, you know I always think like I'm a big believer with you mentioned earlier the idea of having more time in your day like there's certain tricks I have, like, I believe in waking up ahead of my kids, right? So if I wake up an hour ahead of them, I'm like, I can hit the ground running, I get dressed and shower without the pressure of someone waiting for me. And then by the time you know, I have to take them to school, it's just a lot easier. And I think that so often, like, as long as you take, there's very few things you can control, right? And the things you can control you do because something unexpected always happens. So in a typical morning, my husband actually will take my two daughters to the bus stop, because they go to the bus stop at 645 and 715. It's insane. And then I wake my son up and get him breakfast and make him breakfast and, and I usually wake up at about 630, do email shower, get ready for the day. And then I wake him at about seven, make him breakfast, then take him to school. And then I drive to our office on most days, which is about 45 minutes from my house, because that's where most of the payments professionals in Los Angeles live. So go to the office, do calls, usually have lunch at my desk, believe and usually have to do some sort of pickup or something. And sometimes I'll have a work event at night. Sometimes I won't. But I think one of the things Molly and you I know live this too is like as an entrepreneur, you're never off anyway, right? So it really doesn't matter where I am like, even if I've left the office, I'll do calls from my car, or I will you know, at night I'm answering emails, I think as an entrepreneur, you're just never off. Even if I, I never say to my team, oh, I'm taking this day off. Because there's no such thing, even if I'm in a different location, I'm always still in some way reachable and on and making decisions about the company. And I think part of my role as a CEO, especially as my job as the company expands, is to be traveling and to be out there and to be speaking and to be meeting people constantly that can help us grow the company. And so because of that my days are a lot less predictable, then then someone who's in a corporate job, or someone who's you know, in a job, or they're in an office every day, at a desk, I mean, I'm most valuable when I'm not at my desk.
Molly Dare 22:01
And I love that you said that because and I'm going to get to this quote that you said in a second, but you point out something how important it is for you to be the one traveling out there in front of the people, right? Because that is an I feel the same way like that's my skill set, right? That's what I know I'm good at, I can't be at my I need to hire people, for me to expand, to grow, for the business to grow, I have to bring on people who can do those things. So that allows me to not be at my desk to be out there in front of everybody. So this quote, which, which you said that I love is I'm very aware of the things I do well, and the things I don't do well, that's what being confident is it's not pretending you know how to do everything or acting defensive when you don't know something. And I love that because one of the big pivotal moments in my company's growth was when I took stock of this is what I'm good at, this is what I'm not good at. And I needed to hire accordingly. So that where I was falling, I had someone that that was their strongest asset. And that's where they got in and allowed me to show up so much better.
Samantha Ettus 23:01
It's so true. And I think it's a sign of a strong leader, right? Because I know that I have so many weaknesses, and I try to hire around them. Like, I have to hire people who are going to be better at that than I am like we brought in a general manager this year, who's really more like, you know, doing all the operations. And that for me, it was like taking that off my plate so I could focus on fundraising and press and growing the company and business development that was really important for our growth. And I think so often I see this all the time where I'll talk to people, and they just can't admit if if you catch someone doing something wrong, they don't say, oh, gosh, I am owning that, like I totally screwed up. I mean, I think it's so important. And it's it's the kind of person you want to be around to you don't want to be around someone who acts like they know everything and like they can't do anything wrong. You want to be around the person that says, oh, gosh, sorry, without the bot, right. And I think that every day I mess up, I mess up in my personal life and my professional life. And I think it's so it's about owning it and trying to grow from it and move forward. There was a VC I talked to a venture capital, I talked to the other day who I really respected. And then afterwards I was reading something that he said, he said, I never invest in anyone who on our call, and I hadn't read this before. And thank God I said, I don't know about something he said but he said doesn't say I don't know, at least once during the call because you can't know everything. And I thought that was super interesting. And I very tailored sheet that mentality. Yeah.
Molly Dare 24:28
No, I think that's great. You know, speaking of traveling and being everywhere, you're a very well known keynote speaker you've been described as a speaker who instantly engages with her audience. What is your trick or tips? I know I have a lot of speakers who are who are listening, or people who are looking to do something similar. Do you have any tips on how to connect with the audience?
Samantha Ettus 24:47
I really spend a lot of time thinking about what their I want their experience to be, and not making it about me I think so often when we speak and the reason so many people are scared of public speaking is because they're so focused on oh my gosh, how will I look and how am sound and, and you know their themselves instead of thinking of like, what is the experience you want the person the audience to have? Do you want them to leave feeling better about themselves? Do you want them to leave with certain skills that they didn't have before? Do you want them to leave feeling motivated. And I think changing the perspective and doing it from the audience's perspective is really, what's helped me a lot. And then the other thing I'll say, Molly is like, I'm always trying to get better. So I will watch speakers all the time I watch TED talks, I watch people that if someone says they love to Speaker, I always try to watch them. I remember Rachel Hollis, who's, you know, her content is not something that inspires me necessarily. But her delivery is excellent. And when people you know, people feel all sorts of ways about her, but I will say, you cannot take away from her that she's an excellent performer. And I remember I was at a conference that she was also speaking at. And I made a point of going to watch her speak, because I wanted to see what all the fanfare was about. And I left there being like, I get it now. And I left and I, I gave my speech after I'd seen her. And I honestly think I was better in that speech, because I just seen her. So I think no matter how good you are, like the best tennis players watch the other best tennis players play, right? And like, you always can learn from other speakers and other people who are doing it. Well, I would say my weakest thing that I'm trying to get better at, is if you think about like a band, they play the same song no matter how, who's in the crowd. And I get so caught up in customizing every speech that I create a lot of extra work for myself, because I always feel like I have to deliver something brand new, what if there's a repeat person in an audience, but really, the best speakers are able to give a very similar speech, wherever they go, and then tailor it and I'm trying to get better at that.
Molly Dare 26:47
Well, you know, you hit on something that I think is really important, I get asked a lot of times, you know, I don't have money to hire a coach, or I don't have money to do it. But I really want to learn how to be the best, you know, speaker or CEO, or leader or whatever it is. And like, we are so lucky that we live in an age of social media, where we can watch the people that we look up to the people that we inspire, they're posting stories, they're posting on Instagram, on LinkedIn, watch what they do, go to the talks, watch them in action, you know, and I and I think it's so important, and we're so lucky that we have such access to people.
Samantha Ettus 27:22
That's excellent advice. I mean, that's, that is great advice. I completely agree with you. And I think that not enough people and even just hearing you say it back, like the way you just said it, it's like inspires me to do that more, because I agree with you, if you look at I just saw the movie, King Richard about Serena Williams and, and her life growing up, and her father wasn't even a tennis player, he just watched videos over and over and over again and learned how to teach his daughters. And I think that kind of thing can work. You know, if you watch 10,000 hours of experts, you're gonna become an expert. And I believe in that.
Molly Dare 27:59
No we're so capable. And my favorite phrases or mindset shift is to go from I don't know how to do that to I don't know how to do that yet. That the yet at the end, because we're so capable. And it's all we have so much access to so much. You know, and this is why I love sharing these stories and having people like you on to, to really get people to fire under them and in the knowledge that they need to just get started. You also have a podcast, a very popular podcast called What's her story, which shares stories of inspiring women and you have an amazing co host as well. Why do you love sharing these stories so much?
Samantha Ettus 28:31
I think that especially what happens with women in business, we hear this same three women's stories over and over, right? And might be like Sheryl Sandberg, Marissa Mayer, I'm trying to injure new yet, like, we hear the same 10 women talked about over and over again. And we forget that there's so much depth on the bench. And so you know, a lot of times, there's people who are doing incredible things, we don't know their stories, and we don't ever really understand sort of the personal and professional journey that got them somewhere. So it's funny because Amy and Nelson, who's my co host, she's a lot more corporate than I am because she comes from a corporate background. So she's the one who will try to like censor me and be like, You can't ask that. And I'm like, Oh, yes, I can, you know, and I would rather someone tell me like I've gone too far with my questions, and ask that thing that's on everyone's mind. And so we really do get the professional and personal stories. I mean, we interviewed Melinda Gates, I would say like three months before her separation from Bill, and I asked her what they fight about. And she answered, I mean, most people will answer you. And so I tried to get the story that no one's heard before from like really exceptional people. Even Gloria Steinem shared things with us that she hadn't shared before. So yeah, I mean, Soledad O'Brien. Like I just tried to get stories from people you think you know, but you don't know this other side of them.
Molly Dare 28:35
It's an incredible, incredible podcast.I strongly encourage everyone who's listening to check it out, go take a listen, your guests are I mean, everyone's goal guests right to have on their podcast one right after the other truly incredible. And I have to ask as someone who's relatively new to podcasting and just started, actually, this episode's gonna be the new one in our season two, why choose to have a co host? And why did you not choose to do it on your own?
Samantha Ettus 30:21
That's a great question. It actually is not easy to co host a podcast, because there's a lot of times where you're speaking over each other, even when you are seasoned at it, you know, I think that we have hand signals, where like, I'll put my hand on my face to show that I'm going to ask the next question, or she'll do the same, and it's not easy. That said, we have very different styles and different strengths. And I think they complement one another. Amy is also a venture backed entrepreneur. She's from the Midwest, she is a little bit younger than me. And she has just a different perspective on a lot of things than I do. And I think that that kind of rounds out our strengths. And then also on top of it, she's we're ironically, like, behind the scenes, I usually book the guests, and she does more of the like business and sponsorship stuff. I don't know. So it just kind of works. And we you know, we did a deal with iHeart. And it just kind of started working. And I think that what's funny about it, though, is you know, you ask a great question. No one's ever asked me that before. Because everything I've done in the past, I hosted my own radio show, I hosted a online talk show. So this is a bit new for me. Also, the the very unusual thing is the podcast is owned by our companies. So in her case, it's owned by the Riveter. In my case, it's owned by Park Place payments. And I did that because I wanted to make sure that it was like an asset of my company, because everything is kind of focused on that. And that's like my absolute career focus right now. So I wanted to marry them and make it so that they weren't, you know, at odds with each other.
Molly Dare 31:55
But the reason why the question comes up is because I know, again, going back to us, knowing our strengths and our weaknesses, I know I don't make a great, I'm going to make a blanket statement, but a business partner in the sense that, you know, in all my businesses that I've done, I really like being the solo person, because I tend to be deferential. If I partner with someone, I then lessen myself and I become very deferential to the person. And I recognized that in myself as I did different partnerships. And I said, I can't do that, right. It's not it's not fair to myself. And it's not fair to the person because then it gets, you know, it gets awkward. But I always find it interesting with the people who do, do you have any tips or anything that you could share about how to make a great whether it's a business partner, a co host on a podcast, any ways to communicate effectively, because I know a lot of people kind of feel a safety and having another person and not being the sole person responsible for all the decisions.
Samantha Ettus 32:49
This is, it's really fascinating. I think that first of all, that's very, very self aware of you to know why you don't want a partner, I will say that, I think for us with our podcast, because we have such a strong division of labor, near works, right. And, and I think that even at home in terms of dividing the labor with my husband, we have a very strong division of labor. And you know, he's in charge of XYZ, I'm in charge of XYZ. And whenever we tread on each other stuff, it falls apart. And I think just in general, the more specific you are about what you're good at, and what someone else is good at, and what you're weak at and not weak at. That's one part of it. And then the second part of it is the communication, right? So like, if in your home life, you're not expressing your needs and are expecting your spouse to be a mind reader, you're always going to be disappointed.
And if you are, you know, and and same thing with a professional relationship, I think it requires constant communication and telling someone when they piss you off or telling someone when you're annoyed or telling someone when you're not getting what you need. Because otherwise you're just going to be resentful. And I think in general, right? It's like you hear about that in romantic relationships all the time where someone just stuffs or feelings inside all the time and then one day they just break. And that's not healthy. So you're much better off trying to fix it or trying to communicate along the way. Even if it seems like minutiae, it's probably not.
Molly Dare 34:21
Yeah, and what I'm hearing is how important communication is from the get go is this is your role. These are my roles. Don't step on my don't step on yours. And that's true in personal relationships, in business relationships, in all relationships, that all stems from communication. I think that's really really important. I have one question I like to ask all my guests and get that at the end of each episode, which is what is the most daring thing that you have done?
Samantha Ettus 34:46
Wow, I It's funny because I don't think of myself as daring because it doesn't feel daring for me right. So like, I'm not someone that's going to go bungee jumping like that is not something I've any interest in. That wouldn't feel daring to me. That would feel stupid for me.If someone else wants to give it to me Be my guest as long as they're not my child, but, but I But I mean, it's for me, like, I guess the daring thing is like, it's every day, right? It's like pushing yourself a little bit to do something that would benefit your life. But it's kind of a struggle. So for example, a couple of weeks ago, I was going to a work holiday event that I'd been invited to where I knew I would not know one person in the room, and I just had a long day. And it would have been so much easier to go home, put on sweatpants and hang out with my kids, right. But I knew that it would benefit my business for me to go to that. Similarly, it's, I get up every day and do tons of cold contacting, like, I'm the queen of the cold contact. So I am networking all day long. Every day, I'm cold calling or contacting investors, just people I think would be good for the business. So I would say that like every day, I'm doing something daring in the sense that it's putting myself into the rejection space, right where you might get rejected, you might not hear from someone. And so I would say that that is probably the most daring thing I do every day now in a sort of, I think to answer your question, like, I hope this is not the most area because I wouldn't want to think I peaked at age 18. But when I was 18 years old, I was an intern at Viacom, it was my first internship ever and I had heard that the CEO of all of Viacom and you have to understand Viacom owns at that time, Nickelodeon VH, one MTV, they were like a huge deal. And I had heard that the CEO of Viacom was a really avid tennis player and I was a competitive ranked tennis player growing up. So it was the age is just going to age me is I sent him an interoffice memo and those like yellow big envelopes, inviting telling him my tennis ranking and inviting him to play me at the company picnic.
Molly Dare 36:49
Oh, wow.
Samantha Ettus 36:50
Okay, very daring. Didn't tell my boss, I just I was working in HR. I thought it was like the Coolest Internship ever because I was in charge of screening, secretarial candidates, their resumes to see if we'd bring them in for an interview. And I sent this memo off to him. And a couple of days later, my boss who was the secretary of the HR department came in and she was like, Sam, there's a call for you from the CEOs office. And how are they calling you? I'm like, I have no idea. You know, I got on the phone. And it was a CEOs assistant. And he's and she said, Mr. Biondi, we'll meet you at the tennis courts at the company picnic at one o'clock.
Molly Dare 37:28
Oh, my goodness.
Samantha Ettus 37:29
So I tell this Assistant, what happened. And literally from that moment forward, the head of HR was like, glued to my side, and insisted on sitting with me on the bus to the picnic. She was like, I've never even met her before. She was like all over me. And at two o'clock, Mr. Biondi and I are one o'clock met at the at the courts. And he was really good. And I beat him seven, five. And by the way, by the time I finished, it was like 600 people watching. And he was not happy. He was pissed, okay, because he had just lost to the girl intern who's 18. And he's a CEO of all of Viacom. And I remember that the next week, my dad came and took me to lunch. We ran into a couple of like C level Viacom, executives at the lunch, and they came over to our table and said to my dad, your daughter was the subject of the last board meeting, because everyone was teasing Mr. Biondi for losing to the intern. So anyway, that's my
Molly Dare 38:23
that was such a good story. I love that you know, who has a similar story is Kara golden, the CEO of hint,
Samantha Ettus 38:31
I love she's a very close friend of mine.
Molly Dare 38:33
Yeah. Okay. So she shares the story in her book about how she wrote to the CEO of blanking on the Magazine BIG magazine.
Samantha Ettus 38:39
Yep. Yeah, I love that story. It's very, and Karen and I are so similar in that way. We both are just always cold contacts,
Molly Dare 38:45
because it's like, go right to the top. Like, why wouldn't you write? Why? Why think that you can't reach out to these people and who knows how it's gonna end up for you. I mean, usually they love it, it makes you stick out from the pack that you're willing to do that. So I just love that so much. Samantha, thank you so much for joining me today and sharing with us how to transform our life into one that is more satisfying and fulfilling and adding the importance of financial literacy as well. And thank you everyone for listening in and see you next week with another inspiring and motivating conversation.
Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of On Air with Molly dare Your support means everything to me and my guests. The best way to support this podcast is with a five star review on iTunes. The best way for this podcast to keep growing is by word of mouth. So if you love this episode and got a meaningful takeaway, we'd love for you to share on social media tag me and the guests and we will be sure to share as well. You can also head over to our new website at Mollydare.com check out our fun shop with fun merch along with our Spotlight Series filmed features and all of our podcast episodes. If you do get your hands on some on air with Molly their swag, and of course our lineup daring, fearless and aggressive like are sweatshirts and hats and coffee mugs. It just gives me all the biggest smile and feels. As always, please tag me when you receive your items, and I'll share on my social media as well. Nothing makes me happier than seeing all of the daring and fearless aggressive likers out there wearing it loud and proud. Thanks again for listening and look forward to next week's episode.
