Kindra Hall is the best-selling author of Stories That Stick and her newest book, Choose Your Story, Change Your Life. She is a sought-after keynote speaker trusted by international brands to deliver messages that inspire teams and individuals to better communicate the value of their company, their products, and their individuality through strategic storytelling. Today she joins the show to share the power of sharing your own story, as well as how to rewrite the stories that we tell ourselves that may be hindering our lives.
Listen in as Kindra explains why you do not have to have a Hollywood-sized story to tell in order for it to be monumental to someone and the importance of having compassion for yourself (and others). You will learn how to overcome your limiting beliefs, common mistakes individuals make when they’re attempting to tell a story, and how to change your money story. You might even increase your income with this shift in mindset!
What You’ll Learn:
Which stories you should tell the world.
How to ensure you are telling the stories that will inspire your audience.
The value of stories in small business.
Kindra’s advice for anyone starting to write a book.
How to re-write the stories you tell yourself.
How to overcome your limiting beliefs.
Mistakes that people make when they’re telling stories.
The importance of preparing your stories in advance.
Ideas Worth Sharing:
“Just like you read a kid a story in preschool, the same is true for storytelling as adults… It has to be engaging.” - Kindra Hall
“A lot of people are missing the power that stories have.” - Kindra Hall
“Get whatever it is in your heart onto paper and out into the world.” - Kindra Hall
Resources:
TRANSCRIPT:
Molly Dare 0:07
Hello and welcome to On Air with Molly dare. I'm your host, Molly Dare, founder of Hillenbrand, media producer of the Spotlight Series host of this podcast, and single mom to two amazing teen girls. I am joined today by the amazing Kindra Hall, Best Selling Author of stories that stick and her new book, which is out now choose your story change your life. For those who have been following my journey, I am a huge fan of stories and storytellers and people who can tell their stories well, and so was so excited when Kindra agreed to be on the podcast today. Because I think one of the best quality someone can have is being a good storyteller. And that's true in work in life, the people that you'd like to be around, when you're sharing a story of your career and your brand and your business, it's so important to know how to say it effectively. And with clarity. And so we all have so many stories, right? I always say I'm 43 years old. And I have 43 chapters, you know of stories. And like many of you I'm writing a book, and so I'm really diving into all the stories and oh my god, there are many. And I think it's really important. You know, before we get into this interview with Kindra, I get asked all the time, especially when I'm having people on that are sharing kind of more difficult stories or emotional stories is how do I know which parts of my stories to share? You know, there's so many different ways I could take this and I go first of all, the first thing that I think you need to do is is look at the audience, right? If you're going to be appearing on a podcast or on TV, or you know, at a speaking engagement, who is the audience that you are speaking to? Are they older? Are they younger? Or are they divorced? Are they entrepreneurs, whatever that is, you really need to know who is the audience that you are going to be speaking to, because we all have so many stories, but not all of them are going to be the correct ones to share with that particular audience. So what is that message now that you know who the demographic is and who the audience is? What message do you want them to leave with? Once they've listened to you speak? How do you want them feeling? What do you want them to walk away with? What takeaways Do you want them to have? Then look at all your stories, which two or three, you know, really highlight that message, pick those, right, and there's some that are more emotional than others, right? There's some that really take us to to a difficult place, I have a talk that I give called failing forward. And in it I talk about, you know, my daughter and her battle of CRPS, and our stay at Boston Children's Hospital, I have never been able to get through that part of that speech without getting emotional. Because when I speak, I'm right back in that place. Like I feel the emotions of that right, the anxiety, the fear. And what gets me through it, though, is that I've learned the lesson from it. And that is the gift you give to your audience is the lesson. So if you are currently going through stuff that you haven't wrapped up the bow on, that you're still feeling it and you're still in it, you don't really know the lesson learned from it quite yet, you're still mad about it, it's probably not the best time to share that that moment, there are certain things that I'm going through that I'm that I'm not sharing yet, because I haven't come through it to the other side, I don't have the nice little gift wrapped up in a bow to give you all about why it happened, or what I've learned from it, or how I got through it, because I'm still in it. But there are many chapters of my life that I've come through. So when you when you think about your story in what you've gone through, and Kindra does an amazing job of explaining, you know, the stories that we tell ourselves and how we can rewrite those stories. She's just truly amazing at it. And you've got to check out her books. They're incredibly, incredibly helpful. Her latest book, which is the Choose your story changed your life, I devoured in like no time, it was the best read. But as you look back in those chapters really think about which ones are the most powerful, because it is your role as the speaker or the author or you know, the podcast guests to really deliver a powerful message by sharing your experience. I think people really love to hear people speak from experience, not just listing off things as the expert right. We want to know how you learned that. So I'm going to stop talking because I'm going to bring in the the expert on this, which is the amazing Kindra hall you guys looking forward to this conversation. Hope you enjoy.
Molly Dare 4:36
Welcome everyone to on air with Molly dare I'm joined by Kindra Hall. Kindra Hall is a best selling author and chief storytelling Officer of Success Magazine, who teaches leaders, executives and entrepreneurs across countless industries to harness and leverage the power of their stories. Her book stories that stick debuted at number two on the Wall Street Journal bestseller list, and Forbes said it's time Maybe the most valuable business book you've read, just debuted her second book this month, choose your story change your life. She's a sought after keynote speaker and a mom of two adorable kids. Kyndra. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Kindra Hall 5:14
Molly, I'm so happy to be here, really looking forward to this.
So I'm gonna cut right to the chase, because I am so passionate about the topic of storytelling, and just how important it is, as a tool in business in everyday life. What made you pursue storytelling as a career?
Yeah, it was one of those. It was one of those things where my career kind of found me and for a long time, I kind of tried to run away from it, because I thought really can can you create a whole job a whole career a whole life out of storytelling, it seemed so silly, but it was a passion of mine and had been since I was very young. I told my first story when I was 11. When I was in high school, I entered a national storytelling competition. Hmm, I won the competition. And I was hoping the great the prize would be like, lots of money or cars. And it wasn't, which was great with the prizes even better, I got to tell at the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, Tennessee, which not many people know even exists, I didn't know it existed at the time at but I remember being at this festival, it's in this teeny tiny town that they put up these huge circus tents. And people from all over the world come and tell stories, people who that's their entire job. They're not in it for sales or marketing, like their job is simply to tell stories. And I remember sitting there listening to these stories, and watching the people in the audience from so many different places from so many generations, so many different backgrounds, all completely captivated by these stories. And not only that, but for me, I could kind of see the stories, not just listening to them, but see like the arc of them and and how the tellers were using words and and including details. But I think the thing that stood out to me the most that I found the most thrilling was the storytellers weren't necessarily telling these huge tragic tales or over the top, you know that it's not something you would see on a silver screen. And they were in many cases, just everyday stories that these tellers saw the value in and the trueness of life in and decided to share them. And I think that was really when I realized that this was really in for myself to think, wow, I have these little things happen in my life. And at the time, I was young, I was like 18. And we're all looking for purpose and to feel like are we do we have a big life. And listening to these tellers? I realized that I mean, there they were, they were bigger than life up on the stage. And they were telling these small moments. And what a beautiful thing that was. And so I think it was really that's what started my ultimate journey to not only personally start seeing the small stories in my life as powerful though they may be small. But as I grew and started my I was working in sales and marketing, the value of small stories in business and how they're often overlooked as well. So it was yeah, it was at that festival that I think the idea was truly born.
I love that you point out it doesn't have to be some fantastical tale that you would see on a movie screen for people to have a really empowering story to share. And often some of the most powerful lessons learned are from like the small details of small moments. So let's go to your first book. And then I really want to dive into your new book because it's so good. I literally devoured it. Yeah. So we're gonna dive deep into it. But what motivated you to write a book in the first place? And for those interested in sharing their story in a book, what advice do you have on book writing and getting a book published?
Oh, I love this. Okay, so my so right let's go back to the fact that eventually I realized that other people were really missing the power that stories had even when I was working in sales and marketing I kept trying to it was so strange and people would talk about storytelling, but they were just so bad at it. Like I read other books about storytelling and I'm like, No, this is wrong. It's not this isn't accessible. So after you know after some soul searching, I started I actually started speaking, like speaking to, it was actually really marketing luncheons, and women's entrepreneur groups just for just for their luncheons, and talking for, you know, one hour, 45 minutes about storytelling and in business, they were business settings and Marketing and Entrepreneurship. And that started to grow. And I started speaking a lot as a keynote speaker. But what was really frustrating for me is, again, if you're a person who's very passionate about what you do, and you want to help people, when you're a keynote speaker, you get one hour at most on a stage, and I knew that they'd be able to do something with that one hour, that was really important to me. But there was always so much more, I wanted to share to go deeper. And so for me, my first book stories that stick came out of that desire of, okay, I can't just leave them after an hour, and not have anything for them to do next. And so that first book was really the answer to that problem. What I would say to anyone who wants to write a book is it is a wonderful, terrible process. Yeah, it really is. So So I say this with love. Because when you're when you decide to do it, when you're in it, when you're like, Okay, I'm doing this, and you're, maybe you're in the outlining phase, or maybe you're in the writing phase, or maybe you decide that you want to get it published by the traditional route. So you've got to find an agent, and then you've got to find, I mean, so that when you're sitting there thinking, this is terrible, you are not alone, and you're not wrong. But it also is, you know, you'll be in these moments in your writing, and you're like, Oh, I'm so excited that somebody is going to read these words. So that would be it, that would be kind of some of the mental advice. But also, there are so many different ways to put books out into the world now. And so I would say to anyone who's like, I want to write a book, if you have the thought, the thought is for you, then you should write and just start start writing, start putting the ideas down, and then be open to all of the different options for publishing, you can do self publishing, you can do hybrid publishing, you can go with a publisher, like my books are, but the the most important thing is to get whatever it is that's on your heart out onto paper and then out into the world.
Molly Dare 12:29
Oh, such good advice. I love that you said that. And I'm laughing as I'm asking you these questions, because there is a part in your book, where you talk about kind of a private joke between you and your husband, when you try to make something really complicated, very simple. All you got to do you
Kindra Hall 12:43
got to do is, oh, he said, You're all you got to do is and yeah, it is oversimplification, you know, doesn't serve me. Sometimes that's just right, you have to do to, you know, get the bit of information out there. But there is no amount of things that I could tell you right now that will prepare you for the mental gymnastics that you go through. When you're truly when you're writing a book, and you're committed to that.
Yeah, great advice. And I don't think you can really prepare until you just like, dive right into it.
Yeah, it's a lot like parenting. Like, there's, I mean, I could I could tell you all the things and you're, you'll be like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I get it. And until you're doing it, you'll be like, you, you can't get it. That's just how it is.
So let's go to your new book, which I absolutely love. I think it's an essential book for everybody to get. I think it's really important. Storytelling is incredibly important in life in everyday life, business, and all the things So choose your story, change your life, silence your inner critic, and rewrite your life from the inside out. So let's go to that first part, silencing our inner critic. Yeah, that is so important.
It is the most important thing, I think. And it is also a really difficult thing to do. I say that even sitting here, having researched for the book have been written the book having taught from the book, and still, I kind of wished, I don't know, I guess a part of me thought that like my inner critic would go away after I wrote the book, but that just isn't the case. And that inner critic is, is a part of who we are as humans. And it's an essential part it's the part that has protected humankind to since the beginning of our species right to to keep us aware of dangers to keep us from pursuing big threats like that that inner critic of Oh, you, you know, that keeps us in place for you know, centuries has millennia. I don't even know the numbers has kept the human race alive. So in some ways, we should be very grateful for it but I think we all know and modern A day where we are now, while our brain perceives, you know, a negative comments on social media or a bad review on a book, or whatever it is, your inner critic sees that as life threatening. And so it's going to say to you don't write that book, because you might get a bad review. And because and then you will die like that, and how your brain
we tend to catastrophize Yes, other people's opinions. Yeah.
And so and so it's there to keep us safe. But as a result, it keeps us a little too safe and keeps us from doing the things that ultimately we want to do and should do.
So rewriting your life from the inside out, I thought that was such an interesting way to put it and you open the book talking about the invisible stories that create your life. Let's dive into that a little bit.
Yeah, that is, that's one of the most important things if if people don't walk away with anything else, it's the awareness that these stories are there, and they're happening, and you are very, very good at telling them. You know, for stories that stick it was to help people who were saying, I need to get better at this skill. I don't know how to really lay out a framework for doing that. But it doesn't matter. Like, it doesn't matter. If you think you're good at telling stories, outwardly, you are extremely skilled at telling stories to yourself. And again, that inner critic, they're not always positive. And so just the awareness that this is happening is an important step in the right direction, because we can't change something we don't know is even there.
You quote an amazing line from Seth Godin in your book that says the story we tell ourselves can very well be centered on the things that have happened in our past that we cannot change, but we cannot change them. What we can change if we choose is the story we tell ourselves. How can rewriting our stories from our past, transform our future?
Well, if we so and I love that quote. And it's really important now that you read it back to me, I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot that I put that in there. But it's so important. Even the title of the book was very intentional. It isn't change your story, change your life. Because our stories, if we're talking about the real stories that have happened to us our experiences they've happened, you can't change those, right? Like we've we've made mistakes, we have regrets, we've lost loved ones we've we've suffered, we've struggled, we've we have all of those things we've been treated unfairly, we've been made a fool, all of those things have happened, we can't change those. But what we can do is choose to focus on the other stories. And again, we overlook these other positive stories, a because they're not going to help our survival if we just walk around feeling good about ourselves, and like we can do whatever we want. And be just like we think a story has to be suitable for the silver screen. We think that we think the same thing about the good stories in our lives, which is what was so fascinating for me, watching these storytellers so long ago at the Storytelling Festival, like they would, they would take 30 minutes to tell a story of Show and Tell day in second grade, and the beautiful lesson that they learned there and the like. And everybody else would overlook that and be like what good is but But listening to that story as an observer, but certainly as that storyteller was telling it to themselves, it brings you back into what life is all about. So we can choose to focus on these stories that serve us that make us feel good. And I think that when it comes down to changing your life as a result, you know, there's a lot of argument of what comes first, like how is a habit formed? Is it the action or you know, is it and is it how we feel or which comes first the action or how we feel. But if you're in a place where there are actions you want to take, and you feel as though maybe it's your inner storyteller that's keeping you from taking them then what is possible if you were to change the stories that inner choose different stories that that inner teller is telling you so the times where you did succeed the times where you took a risk and it paid off. How would you feel after telling yourself those stories, and that feeling is likely to inspire you to take the action Do you need to take which then, of course, over time changes your life?
absolutely one of my favorite parts of the book, and I'm not going to give everything away. There's a lot you guys from beginning to end, I swear, it's just chock full of like tactical advice that you can use from beginning to end. I love that. Yes, no, for sure. You lay out a four part plan explaining how to re author your story from the inside out. In the first part, if you don't mind, I'd love to go through each of those four steps. And if you could just briefly explain, yep, the first one, which is catching yourself a storyteller in the act.
Yep. And that's what we've been talking about here. That first step is awareness that, oh, wait, these stories are happening there. And in the book I talk about, I use the analogy of an iceberg. And you know, that when you think, you know, when the Titanic came upon the iceberg, it was this little chunk of ice. I mean, you've seen the movie, I recently just re watched the movie with my Oh, my gosh, we had to fast forward a few scenes, you know, but like, but there was only like two scenes that had to end the rest of it, they were on the edge of their seats, they loved it anyway, but that, but that iceberg is just this little hunk of ice, right that sticks up above the surface. And in our when it comes to ourselves stories, we have these limiting beliefs that kind of stick up above the surface of our consciousness. And those are the statements like, I'm not good enough, I don't have what it takes. I've never been successful. I'm not worthy. I'm not whatever they are, all of the I'm nots are the things that are keeping you from doing it, who who would want to read my book, all of them. But what took the Titanic out wasn't that little hunk that was up above the water. It was the mass that was underneath the the waves. Now there weren't waves that day, but it was the maths that were underneath the waves. And that's the thing is we have, we only get to see a tiny little bit of the stories we tell ourselves. And so that first chapter, or the first part of the method is finding moments where you can catch, you can be like, Oh, wait, you can catch this up storyteller and the act and then say, wait, I bet there's a story here. What is the story, which is an indication for you to then look below the water level or look into your subconscious and see what stories are living there that are holding up propping up? There's a limiting belief?
oh good. And then the second one is analyzing a story for its truth and impact in your life.
Mm hmm. I think that this step is I have an affinity for all of them. But what I love about this step is this is the step that for yourself as you're going through this, this is the step where forgiveness happens for yourself. This is the step where there's compassion and empathy and understanding. I think one of our big problems is we beat ourselves up about the negative stories and the limiting beliefs we have, because we know that we should say I am capable, I am funny, I am strong. And we get mad that we don't fully believe that all the way. In this step, it's it's an opportunity for you to take a look at these stories that you find and understand yourself a little better. You know, if you're someone that never moves forward on a project or submit something, because it has to be perfect. I mean, think about keep coming back to books, but it was such a great question that you asked, I think of how many books are out there that never get written. And, and it's because somebody has this belief that it has to be perfect in order for it to be out. I mean, I reread this book for the audible version. And there were so many edits I wanted to make, I was like, Oh, I would have changed this, I would have changed that. Right. But but so let's say that's one of your that has become a limiting belief for you, perfectionism. As you look back in your life, I walked through this exercise with with someone else not long ago, and he discovered stories from his childhood, where he was rewarded for being perfect. There was like a star chart. And every night he went to bed on time without issue, he got a gold star and when he got seven gold stars in a row, he got to go get a toy. And that was just one of the stories. So of course that you know, like I I get rewarded in I was rewarded in my family for being above and beyond. Like, I couldn't just be good. I had to be above and beyond and and I know looking back and there's so many examples of that. That my my parents, I'm not mad at them. They knew I was capable of great things like what parent doesn't think that about the child, but all of those circumstances added up over time. Now makes me believe this is a story I'm working on. I can be good. I don't always have to be above and beyond, right? Like, there are going to be moments in my life where I'm above and beyond. Sometimes I can just be good. And that is good enough, right? But so this analyze step allows you to go back and see where the stories are coming from. And I think most importantly, this is where the question comes in of, is this story serving me. And if it isn't, like, for me this above and beyond thing, it serves me in some ways, yes. But I think as I've gotten older, it's become more of a liability. Because as you're trying to be above and beyond, and when I'm sure we have a lot of overachievers in here, right, that other things suffer as a result. And so now knowing that I can move forward in a different way.
So what you kind of ran into the step three, which is choosing the story to serve you better, which I think is really, really important point. And then the fourth, which is installing that story in your brain and life for better results.
This is again, remember, we have been programmed since the beginning of humankind to tell ourselves stories, and they are often negative stories. And so it is going to take a concerted intentional effort to change the to change that narrative to change that default. And so the final step offers a variety of different ways in which you can consciously on a regular basis, be telling yourself the stories you've chosen. So that it leads you to the actions you want to take so that it leads you to the life you want to build. And in some cases, what I've seen is there have been some people in some situations where you know, they go through the methodology, they get to the install step, they install, they they're in a situation, they can feel their inner critic taking over, they install one of their stories, and it changes like that, like the problem solved. It was like a lightbulb, they can move forward. In other situations, it takes more time, right? Like it could be something that's a It's not super straightforward. It maybe has a lot of different layers to it, in which case, the installment process will be extended until you can get to the point where your baseline and the stories you tell yourself are by default, the stories that are serving you, and you can operate from that place.
What are some of the common mistakes people should avoid when sharing their story?
Oh, and sharing their story. So this is we go back to like stories that stick. So if we think about the two messages, so remember, like my whole passion is just storytelling period. And I'm already like, have ideas on what to the next research that's coming up, I have posted all over my wall of like titles of next books like I just can't wait to dig in more. But if you were to look at the two that we have right now, stories, that stick is all about outward stories, and in particular in business, choose your story change your life is all about inner stories. So mistakes that people make when they're telling stories. I think the number one mistake is when they're telling stories outwardly, and and especially if they have a goal in mind two things. Number one is they don't actually tell a story. They think they're telling a story, but they really just kind of deliver information. And maybe they deliver that information in chronological order, like well, so first I did this, maybe you're going in for a job interview. And storytelling is extremely valuable when you're interviewing for a job. It's a way to differentiate yourself, it's a way to better illustrate the skills that you have. And someone might know this, they might go into an interview and say I'm going to tell a story. And they someone says when's the time that you faced a challenging situation? And they'll say, Well, it was this was what happened. This is what we were struggling with. This is what I did. And these are the results. Not what are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Like are you going to you know, are you going to remember that like a goal of of an interview is to be memorable. And so it isn't just saying the things that happened to really tell a story there. There are some components and just like in choose your story, lay out a whole methodology and stories that stick but components that need to be there. So that it really is a story so that people feel something that there's a character they can identify. There's just like you read a story to your team. You know, kid at preschool, the same is true for storytelling as we become adults. And then the second thing that I would say the mistake is not preparing in advance, like if you are, if you're new at this thought, and let's say we're talking about your work, just pulling a story, on a whim, you run the risk of your audience thinking, Well, what was the point? And that is the big problem, right? You never want to tell a story, and have the audience saying, Well, why and especially if this is in like a business, setting a sales audience or a group that it matters, that they care about what you say, you don't want them to say, why were you telling that story. So to prepare in advance, and to make sure that the story you tell, clearly matches the message you want to deliver.
So let's cut ahead to your cuz I don't want to share everything, but money and finances, because that's always a topic that is near and dear to all the entrepreneurs hearts, you have a chapter where you say stories don't grow on trees. And you say that money, which I love. And you say that money is the ultimate story. Why is that?
I mean, if you it's a story that we've all globally, agreed on, right? That this has this value, and those values change. And sometimes there's arguments about the value compared it to another thing, but $1 Bill, technically, is just a piece of paper. And as such, so that's on the really high level. And then as you bring it down, you know, there are stories that we have in society that like money is the root of all evil, and you know, money doesn't grow on trees. And then we have we have our familiar money stories, or maybe the stories that we've been raised in as a part of our communities or, or just the equality or inequality of the world that we're in in those systems. And then we each have our own individual stories about our relationship with money, where money comes from, how much money we need, what we should be doing with our money. And I think that one of the most important things. What I noticed, as I was doing the research on this is money. Money stories, were often the ones that delivered the biggest surprises. Like, wait, I didn't realize that. I was telling myself this story. But this is actually the reality. So one of the women and I think her story is in the book, she was just always struggling with money and not having enough money and comparing herself to other people and how much money they had, and when going back through her life. And she also she was it was really frustrating to her because there was also a part of her that believe that she did have enough money, but it was so deep. And it was such a strange, right. It was very, it was a very strange thing, which is why she we were working together. And as she went and looked back in her past, she had a breakthrough realization that she grew up in a pretty affluent family. However, the conversation around the table was always well, we don't have enough money or Oh, you might be who knows we might be eating beans tomorrow, like there was this even though they had plenty of money. There was always this story about not having enough. And that was a story she carried with her. And because of that old story that she had never explored before. It made her even though she had made money before she had lots of money success stories, even though like when you know, she had gone through a messy divorce. And you know, it was a huge financial crisis for her and she came out on the other side. So that realization that the money story she was telling herself wasn't even actually an accurate reflection of her reality. And it was making her feel bad all the time. Once she started telling herself some of the stories of the money that she had, and how it was enough. And her ability to make more money when she's needed to in her life suddenly shifted her entire demeanor around money, which, as it turned out, as we were following up in our last session, that shift then and how she thought about it. Suddenly she said I've had the biggest month of my entire business more clients coming in than I even knew what to do. And I think a lot of it had to do with the money story she was telling yourself,
you know, in this chapter, you use the term tilt the prism, when you talk about some of your personal stories about spending money, and it did make me chuckle because I definitely made some maybe not the wisest decisions, impulse decisions maybe. And however you say, if you tilt the prism and look at it another way, and like, that's what I'm going to say, From now on, I'm going to tilt the prism and look at it a different way.
Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Like, yeah, sometimes we and I think this is, this is a good overall thing to take away, is we often think of our stories as so definite, and so finite, like, they're, they're set in stone. And, and this happened and it was bad. But if we just turn it slightly, I there's sometimes the light can catch different angles of the story. And sometimes in doing so, there is usable content in there, like there, there are pieces that will have the story that will empower you, if you choose to look a little bit more closely.
Molly Dare 36:09
I love it. I think that's a great, great phrase, I'm going to use them on to you, but I'm sure people have read your book books, hopefully people will get both and feel that they have a really good story to share in a good grasp on it. How would you recommend or what do you recommend for people who want to get into public speaking and build a larger platform to share that story?
Kindra Hall 36:30
Yeah, that is? That's an excellent question. So if you have your story, if you have the story you want to share, the next thing to do is to think about what what are some of the bigger themes of that story? And when I say bigger themes, like what could somebody learn from hearing your story? What could if they were to listen to your story, they would say, Oh, I understand something more about myself, I understand a new way of approaching something like what would somebody learn from hearing your story? Because that's one of the most important things about storytelling. And I would say back to the question about mistakes that people make is that storytelling actually isn't about the teller. The story is about the audience, like those storytellers at the festival, weren't telling stories for themselves. And I would argue that you can tell when people are telling stories for themselves. Those are the people then those are the people where you're like, huh, that is now there are people and I know I'm guilty of this where I've told the story that I meant it to be for that person. But it just didn't quite. And they're like, I think she meant that for me. But that was probably more for her fight, you know, like there, but the intention was good. But that is the most important thing. So you have a story. You're like, oh, I have a great story. People should hear my story, because it's a great story isn't good enough? What can they learn about themselves or about their lives or about their work that they can carry forward after hearing your story? So that's a really important, that's a really important next step. The following step then is, well, where are those people? Where do they gather and now it's a little bit more challenging when I was first getting started? Of course, it wasn't 2020. And people were getting together in person. I'm hoping more of that will be happening. Yes, I actually leave tomorrow for another in person event. So
I love hearing that.
Oh, yeah, we'll doing in person event. we're getting on a plane, and I'm very excited about it. But where are those people? So for me, when I first got started, I mentioned this at the beginning kind of as an offhanded thing, but it's very important as a strategy. I thought to myself, my story and see my, my message isn't about my story, actually. It's about storytelling. So I'm not someone who's like coming with this amazing story. I'm coming with I know this thing, I tell a story about the thing, but the thing is what I'm there to deliver. So that's another nuance, however, I thought, okay, who needs to who would I know what I want them to walk away with? Who would benefit the most from this like who is trying to solve this problem? And I thought marketing people like marketing people need to tell stories and they don't know that they they know that they need to and they don't know that maybe they're not doing the best job of it, which is a little risky approach to take. But I just started reaching out to the local chapters of American marketing associations and saying this is this is what my this is what my work and expertise isn't. This is this is what your audience will get from having me join you for your luncheon. And I started going now in some cases I got paid, just traveled some cases I got paid with my husband and I call it that chicken taco, where they were like, Thank you for being here. The buffet is still out, it's mostly gone. But there is a chicken taco back there. So but what I was doing was honing my message, paying close attention to the audience, like what were what was working for them, what were they asking more about? It kind of became my testing ground. And then from there, you know, if it's a I had a luncheon of 75 people, now I'm getting really technical into this. But this is all important. If you're really thinking about doing this, I had an audience of 75 people, I'd done it a couple times before, nothing really came of it. I had an audience of 75 people at a luncheon. The guy forgot to bring the travel reimbursements. So we went to an ATM and like paid me and like a stack of 20s. It was hilarious. But there were three people in that room who worked at three different organizations. And three of those people reached back out to me and said, I want to bring you into my organization. And then that's when it really started going. So I hope that helps, right?
Molly Dare 41:25
Yeah, no, that's really, really helpful. And I love that you emphasize that it's not necessarily the audience size, but it's who is in the audience, it could be just one person that makes all the difference.
Kindra Hall 41:37
That's what I had one where I flew all the way across the country. I say I lost money. Like I lost a lot of money on this, because I had to spend like two nights that I paid for it. It was really far it was the small town 10 people showed up. 10 they had a good buffet it was there was like grape leaves, I still remember it like 10 people showed up. And I remember standing there and being like, Oh man, and then thinking, who knows who's in here, like the at least these 10 people, at least these 10 people will understand that they have stories to tell. Yeah, one of the people in that room worked for the chamber. And they were having a big Women's Conference. And so I came back and spoke to 300 people, one of the people in that audience spoke for a big organization. And they brought me in for that was the first time I booked at like this a big fee. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I remember taking the call and my closet trying to get away. My kids were so little. And I came out and I'm like, it's real. It's real from a room of 10 people.
I love that. I think that's so important to share and to illustrate that point. So thank you so much. Where is the best place for people to reach you to buy your books to follow you?
Unknown Speaker 42:50
Yeah, so I My website is Kindrahall.com. And on there, there's a place where you can sign up, I send a weekly storytelling videos, so that it's something that's kind of always on your mind, and share a lot of stories there. And you get all the newest information. So the website is the best place, but I'm on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and then the book is available. Both books are available where books are sold. So Amazon Barnes and Noble, local bookshop, so you can go to bookshop.org and order from a local bookstore if you'd like.
Molly Dare 43:23
Oh, that's a great idea.
Kindra Hall 43:24
Is that not cool?
Molly Dare 43:25
Yeah. Very cool. Well, Kindra, thank you so much for chatting with me about one of my absolute favorite topics. I know my listeners learned so many insights and hope you all go and buy this amazing book and put what you teach us to use, because there is nothing more impactful than sharing your story. Thank you to everyone for listening and see you next week with another incredible conversation of inspiration.
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